there is little we could be doing inside at such a moment, that could be more important or vital, than seeing and watching and being conscious and present for this. I literally will stop whatever I am doing and go out and just stare at such scenes. sometimes i photo it, but usually i just take note. I always have a little thought that says, savor it. you never know if it might be your last one. make it last. i don’t say it in a maudlin way, just a way to appreciate. I try to treat each sight such as this as if the doctor just said, “sorry old boy, you’ve got six months.”
sidebar; how you and i fish. we fish with the same attentiveness. most people fish the way they listen to the flight attendant go over the pre-flight safety instructions. you and i fish the way people listen to the safety instructions when the pilot says them at 30,ooo feet during a very rough flight. that my friend is ‘listening.”
I have the same thoughts going in my head all the time. This may be my last. I have this thing rolling around in my head for months now about sunsets and suicide, I know two in the last few years. Sunsets and sudden death, more of those our age and younger the last few years. I’m enjoying the later sunsets now even if I’m just driving home from work while they’re happening. I resented sitting at work and getting out at dark and missing them.
I’m at times overwhelmed. The smells this day were strong. Fresh air over snow. Since it was warming a bit, vegetation, even if it was old. And yes, I believe you’re the only one I know that has that kind of attentiveness while fishing. I can smell spawning fish, see the slight dimples of fish just under the surface, read the most subtle surface breaks. I’m amazed I come home so relaxed and not jumping out of my skin from being over stimulated.
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