Category Archives: Off Topic


Nope, You’re Good…

…it’s not cancer, just an old gnarly callus.

That ended today what I knew was being considered months earlier.

The months culminated on Christmas Eve when the dentist first said it out loud… I don’t like the look of that lesion, it looks precancerous. Later, skip the pre shit. Looks cancerous. I know in my head I heard… Merry fucking Christmas to me.

A few weeks later, another doctor, a specialist. Poking and scraping and more poking.

Well, I’m 95 percent sure it’s nothing, but let’s do a biopsy in a couple of weeks to rule out that 5 percent (yeah, that’s what he told me, said the dead guy).

Back the day before my birthday (happy fucking birthday to me). Needles, scraping, cutting and the removal of a good chunk of flesh. Enough to require stitches to hold what was left together.

I’m sure it’s nothing I heard again. Come back in a week and we’ll have the results.

Nope, you’re good, I heard today.

Better safe than sorry, I guess.

Nope, I’m good.


McDonald’s, I don’t get it

McDonald’s, I don’t get it. And yet they recently reported a $6.9 BILLION profit for the last quarter. That’s profit. I didn’t hear how much was brought in for the quarter, just the profit. Total income for the quarter has to be enormous, you would think.

I’m sorry, I bet the picture at the top gave you the impression this was going to be about fishing. That is a nice fish. A first week of April smallie to be exact based on the lack of leaves on the trees in the background. Fox River at North Aurora to be specific based on the bridge.

Unless you’re one of those anglers that must make a McDonald’s stop while out and about, then I guess this has to do with fishing, but not really.

I’m not much of a fast food person, never have been. I’ve done my share, but I’d just as soon not bother. I do have a penchant for a bacon cheese burger, large fries and chocolate shake from Portillo’s when the occasion arises, but that’s about it.

Twenty years ago the death knell came for McDonald’s when between jobs, I stopped and grabbed something quick to eat. A major mistake. Within the hour I was in the throes of food poisoning. Nothing like seeing anything McDonald’s coming out where it just went down. That pretty much killed my desire for anything McDonald’s.

Because of an impending move, the wife and I have been busy the last couple of days cleaning and painting the new place. On the way home the wife decided to go the easy route to dinner and stopped at McDonald’s. She brought me a bacon double cheeseburger and some fries, figuring it was a safe bet.

Well, safe it wasn’t. The first negative comment came from my mother-in-law. She would not be considered to have a discerning palate, so the comment was a bit of a surprise.

“The fries are always too salty.”

She immediately set them aside.

And they were. And they were also far too skinny for my liking and to top it all off, they tasted like shit. Then I started in on the bacon double cheeseburger. I think my long drawn out culinary review went something like this…

“This tastes like shit too.”

And it pretty much did. The flavor kind of resembled beef, but not quite. The bacon had bacon flavor, but I could see the cheese and that was about it.

I was hungry so I kept eating it and had a running commentary going on the $6.9 BILLION profit McDonald’s just made and what that said about the total lack of taste the average human being must have.

How do people eat this shit and, after the first time, why the hell do they go back?

Told the wife not to bother getting me anything the next time she makes a quick stop.

I’d rather dig through the kitty litter box.

I finished this wonderful meal at 5:50 PM. As I type this it’s 6:35 PM.

Food poisoning always strikes within the first hour.

So far no rumbly’s in the tumbly.

But then, I got another 14 minutes to go.


Good Riddance 2013

After a nearly disastrous start to the year, the wife and I were both ready to say good riddance 2013 by midnight last night.

March 1st I was finally hired for a full time job after a little over three years of scrounging for work. It’s going to take years to crawl out of the financial hole that was created, but there was now potential for improvement.

Then the wife, who was in the final stages of recovering from rotator cuff surgery, was diagnosed with an extremely aggressive form of rheumatoid arthritis and had to quit working. She’s a tough lady and though it’s hurt her ability to work, she does her best to keep going, sometimes to a fault. There are those moments where she just collapses into bed in pain.

Then in November she had a mild heart attack.

Boy, did that piss her off.

She still refuses to let these things get the better of her and she pushes and pushes. One of these days that will either kill her or cripple her, but that’s the way she wants it.

I’m not going to argue with her, won’t do any good.

So, we’ll see what 2014 brings.

We’ll be moving soon, something smaller and cheaper. That should help a bit. Nice part for me, besides being cheaper, I’ll still be less than a two minute walk to the Fox River.

One must have priorities, even if they are self-serving.

My goals are simple this year.

I hope to enjoy all of these, every day.

And to catch more of these out of smaller and smaller creeks.

I told you my goals are simple.

At the top of this post is one of my favorite images, Leap Into the Void by Yves Klein.

Sometimes, what else can you do.

Of course, there will always be music playing somewhere in the back of my head while I watch those sunsets and fish those creeks.

There always is.

If you’re going to Leap Into the Void, you may as well Jump Into the Fire.

Really, sometimes, what else can you do.


Awwww… How Cute

The kittens are now 5 months old. Three of them have been sent to homes of others where they are all doing quite well.

Two of them my wife refuses to give up.

When the kittens were around two months old, Trip, their momma that grew up outside and prefers to live outside, tried to coax all the kittens outside. My wife refused to let that happen. One day Trip went out the door and refused to come back inside. That left my wife as the kittens new momma.

And they do treat here like momma. Follow her around the house. Do things to annoy her and generally be the pain in the asses that kittens are.

This is Turtle, or Turd. And, since he’s so big he’s your typical gangly young male that runs into everything, with a possibility that all is not right between the ears, he’s also called Returd. At five months old he’s already the size of a full grown male cat. He still has 7 months of growing to do. He’s going to be a monster.

I’m a cat. We like to play in boxes.

Now go the hell away please.

On the right is Shan, the old man of the house. That would be Chill on the left, also known as Chili. Both names describe her range of moods. She’s either hanging out and you can do whatever you want to her or she’s bouncing off the walls. She’s your average size female kitten, a little skinny, but that comes from running through the house at full speed.

The kitten is fucking with me.
No, no I’m not.

And when you walk away, I promise, I’ll leave him alone. Really, I promise.

The two kittens are inseparable. They chase each other through the house and wrestle all the time. They like to stalk Weaver the Bitch Cat, but they know not to get too close cause Weaver doesn’t play well with others. When they tire of that they give each other baths. Eventually they pass out, curled up against each other.

The wife insisted that I not put up the next two photos. She does not like to have her picture taken and does not want her face on Facebook or my blog.

To which I replied… tough shit, get over it.

Anyway, when the wife lays down the kittens have to lay with her. It becomes a competition, who can snuggle closer to her head and face. They don’t do this to me. They’ll watch each other and steal a closer spot from the other when the opportunity arises.

Turtle, through sheer size and weight, always wins and winds up laying on her face and head.

It’s funny now, but by the time they’re a year old they’ll nearly double in size.

That would make Turtle almost the size of a bobcat.

I expect one morning to wake up and find my wife suffocated by her kittens.