Don’t even try talking to me before I’ve sucked down a couple of cups of coffee. Coffee must be sucked down while I’m out on the front porch, with a cheap cigar.
In my head this is a big long drawn out diatribe, but I decided it wasn’t worth the time and effort to turn it into something that might have some real value. Instead I’ll keep it short and semi-humorous, or as a friend of mine likes to refer to me, snarky.
I now drive almost 3 hours a day to get back and forth to work. I get to hear the same commercials over and over again. Two annoy the hell out of me, mainly because of what I feel they represent. This overbearing need to cater to the needs and feelings of children.
First off is a commercial for something called a Toyota Safe Driving Agreement. Apparently you’re supposed to sit down with your kids and have some hopelessly boring conversation with them about the rules and laws of driving and then sign some piece of paper that states that your kid will abide by the rules and laws that already exist.
If they drive they already have to abide by them. It’s the law.
This is being all nice and neatly discussed by a woman talking that I’m assuming is pretending to be a mom. I keep thinking, where’s dad?
I have a feeling dad is in the bathroom sitting down to pee like his wife told him to.
A dad would never put up with this crap. Sign a safe driving agreement?
Dad: You know the rules of the road and the driving laws?
Dad: Good, here’s what’s going to happen if you screw them up. First, you’ll be grounded for a week, no going outside for anything other than school. Second, no car for a month. You don’t have to sign anything, you don’t even have to agree to this. This is what will happen if you screw up. We clear?
Seemed easy enough. No long drawn out explanations, just simple statements of fact.
Then there’s the Xfinity home security commercial. Another mom gushing over how safe her family will now be AND she likes the cameras in the rooms so she can remotely see what her kids are doing at any given moment.
Is that just flat out Big Brother creepy? Who the hell WANTS to see what their kids are doing at any given moment.
And, where’s dad?
Probably still sitting down on the toilet to pee like his wife told him to and wondering about how he’s going to make midnight runs to the bathroom and kitchen naked without the whole world watching him on television.
Don’t think that’s possible? it is. We’re watching you…
That’s enough, I have no interest in going on and on about the psycho sociology of this whole mess and lambasting everyone for effectively eliminating dads from anything resembling a decision making process when it comes to their kids.
George Carlin does a good enough job…