I walked into the kitchen. The wife was cooking… what the hell are you doing?
“I’m cooking up hot dogs for me and mom.”
(Insert laughing here).
I can see that, you’ve got a hot dog on a fork and are cooking it on a burner on the stove.
(More laughing).
“Of course, I do this all the time.”
(Still more laughing).
No you don’t. We’ve been together for nearly 9 years and I’ve never seen you do this.
(Still more. Besides the low light, the images suck cause it was hard to hold the camera still).
“I do this all the time when you’re not fucking home so I don’t have to put up with your laughing and standing here taking pictures.”
Seriously, did you think I’d respond any other way.
“Didn’t your mom do this for you?” I could hear mom chuckling in the living room.
Uh, no.
“I’ll bet your mom made up those hideous boiled things.”
Well, yeah…
“Damn Polacks boil everything to death.”
Hillbilly.
She finished cooking the dog and thrust the charred thing within inches of my nose.
“See, just like cooking it on a fire while out camping. Smells the same and just about tastes the same. Got anything to say about that?”
No, I’m pretty much speechless. (Cause I was laughing too hard).
“That’s gotta be a bitch for you, you always got something to say. Damn Polack.”
Hillbilly…
Howard Levett
19 Oct 2014Dangerously close to domestic violence or a really bad play.
Ken G
19 Oct 2014Just a day in the life Howard.
On a good day, the wife is a constant source of amusement.
At her expense of course.
Jim McClellan
19 Oct 2014Your wife is a genius. That is all!
Ken G
20 Oct 2014That’s what she claims Jim. I refrained from reminding her about the minor kitchen fire she started at the other house we were renting. Even I will only hit so low below the belt.
RK Henderson
19 Oct 2014Might be Neil Simon, if Neil Simon had been half Polish and half redneck.
(Actually, it sounds like the sort of thing we do in my family, and we’re Scottish and English. Speaking of boiling things.)
Robin
Rusty Ring: Reflections of an Old-Timey Hermit.
Ken G
20 Oct 2014Seems like something I missed while growing up Robin. Another friend emailed me a picture of him roasting marshmallows on the oven. My ma was in a house fire when she was a kid and had to be rescued out a 2nd floor window. Maybe the cautious Polack in her thought better of showing her kids how to burn things over the stove.
Ah yes, nothing like the pungent aroma of boiled cabbage and potatoes. Yummmm.
RK Henderson
20 Oct 2014Cabbage and potatoes? I’m in! Must be where Scots and Poles meet. We call that colcannon.
Robin
Rusty Ring: Reflections of an Old-Timey Hermit
Ken G
20 Oct 2014There’s a small family of Gortowski’s that fled Poland between the wars, got to Scotland and never left Robin. Must have reminded them of their home mountains. There’s a word for Polish hillbillies. I can pronounce it, but have no idea how to spell it.
RK Henderson
20 Oct 2014Actually, there’s a lot of historical connexion between Scotland and Poland. We fought a war alongside Poland at some point in the long past, due to the intricate web of feudalistic alliances; I want to say 13 or 1400s. At that time a number of Polish nobles ended up in Scotland. Two of them, the Sobieski brothers, became rather notorious in Scottish history.
Little-suspected stuff, eh?
Robin
Rusty Ring: Reflections of and Old-Timey Hermit
brookfieldangler
21 Oct 2014Redneck ingenuity right there. Have to admit, I’ve made smores the same way.
Ken G
21 Oct 2014It’s starting to look like I’m the last person on earth to do this…
The River Damsel
21 Oct 2014Ok. I am guilty of roasting marshmallows this way, but never a hot dog! I guess it could be done. But, I will stick to a quick one minute hot dog in the microwave or a 10 min boil in the pan like the dumb Polack that I am! Hahahahaha
Here is a family story. My dad’s family grew up thinking they were German. My uncle married a Polish gal. Years later, my dad’s brother and his wife went over to Russia and Europe for a vacation and to do some genealogy. After sifting through records, my aunt had a huge grin on her face as she threw the pile of paperwork on the hotel room desk. She couldn’t wait to announce to my uncle… “Your such a dumb Polack, you don’t even know you are one!” Haha. Seems that our ancestors were from a Polish province of Prussia, so we were a bit more Polish than German! But, I will never claim to being a hillbilly. = )
Ken G
21 Oct 2014I stopped boiling them years ago RD, but microwave… no problem.
We’re both city Polacks and hillbillies from the mountains on my mom’s side. According to my ma, my great grandmother had 3 kids by 3 different guys and never got married. As my mom said… tough old whore liked to screw anyone new that wandered into town… And I wonder where I get my language from.
Us Polacks must have something going for us, why else would everyone and their brothers try to conquer us over the years. Didn’t work out well for any of them. We’re dark Poles, which supposedly comes from the Mongols. I can picture Genghis Khan waking up one day and saying… I think I’ll travel a thousand miles and go screw with those Polacks I been hearing about. When I’m tan, I get mistaken for Mexican all the time. My little sister has very distinct Asian qualities in her features.
Sounds to me like we damn near conquered the world just by out lasting every one else.
RK Henderson
21 Oct 2014Folks forget that Poland was a world power in the Middle Ages. Straight up. Polish knights freakin’ owned Eastern Europe.
Robin
Rusty Ring: Reflexions of an Old-Timey Hermit
Ken G
22 Oct 2014That is true Robin. Even here in the U.S. you have all those English and French sounding names during the Revolutionary War, then you have Pulaski, who not only saved Washington’s life, but completely changed the U.S. Cavalry.