There are about a dozen squirrels that hang around the neighborhood, about half a dozen of which have become trained to being fed peanuts, all the time.
Every time I go hang out in front of the house to smoke a cheap cigar, one will show up at my feet begging for something to eat. A handful of peanuts will go on the ground. Within a few minutes there will be six of them joining in on the feast. I can see them coming from a block away.
Of those six, three don’t mind being hand fed. Of those three, one, the Vampire Squirrel, insists that one of my fingers is a peanut and he’s determined to rip it off my hand.
You learn a lot about squirrel behavior when you get to watch them so intently.
That old saying, “even a blind squirrel can find an acorn sometimes” exists for a reason. They really don’t see all that well. I can drop a peanut right in front of them and they’ll look around with a startled look on their little face. But they’re sense of smell and hearing is uncanny. They can tell a peanut shell is empty by sniffing it. The reason they come running from a block away is because they can hear that one buddy of theirs cracking open a peanut shell.
That explains the Vampire Squirrel’s insistence that my finger is a peanut. Smells like one, so must be one.
One odd thing they do is that they’ll come up and take a peanut, wander off 10, 20 or so feet and proceed to eat with their back turned to me. I’ve had all six of them doing this at the same time. They don’t like you watching them eat. They probably think I’ll come up and take it away from them.
I was out studying the squirrels on Sunday. Balmy day, unusually warm for a December day in the Chicago area, when it dawned on me. I’ve become the neighborhood crazy old squirrel guy.
I loaded up the car with my fishing gear, kissed the wife and told her where I’d be on the river. I needed to get out fishing.
Thank God for the mind numbing addiction to football most seem to have. An addiction I don’t share. The cruise up the river for seven miles verified what I thought, no one in the river and nary a soul wandering along it’s shores.
I love football.
I thought I would give floating a fly a chance. Supposed to be a big deal, cold water, cold weather technique. So I attached my best strike indicator and a fly I know fish like to eat and gave it a try.
Forty five minutes later, with not so much as a tap, severe boredom set in and I gave up on this worthless technique. I tied on the usual and within a few casts landed the first of three smallies. A perfect specimen even if small.
I wandered down the river. The drab leafless browns of winter were interesting in an uninteresting kind of way.
The bank sign where I parked my car read 74 degrees. I thought that was a bit generous, but I was now sweating bullets even though I was standing thigh deep in water that couldn’t be much more than 40 degrees. Perfect walleye weather. I took the long hike to the walleye hole. If they were going to be there, today would be the day.
I never fish for walleye at night, I can’t see for shit at night and the first lost lure would be the last lure for the day. I fish where the walleye live. It’s not like they’re sitting there thinking,,, hmmmmm, it’s not dark enough for me to eat this thing that’s sitting right in front of my face.
Small walleye fight like wet socks and I did catch one of them. Little thing about seven inches that was no challenge at all. Smallies that size at least try to put up a fight. The bigger walleye fight like a cinder block that swims. Hunkered down on the bottom and pulling hard to get away. I could tell the first one was a good size by the way it tugged, but this spot also produces the occasional pike and muskie so I wasn’t quite sure what I had on. I finally lifted it to make it roll near the surface. Thought for sure it was a small muskie, had a nice gut on it and the color looked about right.
I was soon staring down the throat of a walleye I estimated to be 26 inches. Possibly the biggest I’ve caught out of the Fox River.
Two casts later and another thunk. Another cinder block was swimming along the river bed, this one not quite as heavy, but not bad. I’m estimating this one to be 20 inches, but I think I’m estimating short by a couple of inches.
Had a couple more tentative thunks on the lure, but nothing else hooked.
I was done.
Headed back through some woods then out into a big field of tall brown grass. The trees along the river bank were full of doves. They would explode out of one tree and land in the next. I stopped counting them at 50. Hunted along the shores for tracks as I walked and came across deer, coyote, possum, coons, squirrel, herons, geese and a wide variety of small birds and critters.
Not a single human footprint.
I really do love football.
Jim McClellan
3 Dec 2012Neighborhood Crazy Old Squirrel Guy is a position of honor. Wear it proudly!
Ken G
3 Dec 2012I do Jim, I do. Somebody unsubscribed from me cause of this post. Pshaw, he ain’t crazy enough to understand.
I need to come up with a t-shirt idea for this one.
The Impractical Fisherman
3 Dec 2012Still can’t get over those nice walleyes.
Ken G
3 Dec 2012Around 10 years ago a reliable source told me about a 14 pound walleye in one stretch I used to fish a lot. Would explain all the clean bite offs I got in that stretch.
mari@paradesigners.com
3 Dec 2012Quite a good read, Squirrel.
Ken G
3 Dec 2012Mari, I had no clue where I was going with this one, just started typing. Some would say, pretty much sounds like it…
Dan
3 Dec 2012I’ve found the float-and-fly thing works in deep cold- ice in the guides and handwarmers in the pockets and snow in the air weather. 3 yrs ago today, I used it to catch bass down here in Southern Illinois. But yesterday I was catching on a soft plastic jerkbait, and they were super aggressive, not like sluggish winter bass at all. So who knows? I blame the warm weather for the great fishing.
Ken G
4 Dec 2012I may give it another try Dan, but I’m so confident with what I fish with and how I fish it. I can control the presentation pretty well.
I may have to go hit a pond this weekend, the weather looks good for another few days.
Howard Levett
3 Dec 2012Crazy old squirrel guy isn’t near as bad as some of the things I’ve been called. Obviously the guy that unsubscribed isn’t a fly tier. You’re a true resident of Geezerville. Nice post buddy.
Ken G
4 Dec 2012Half my neighborhood is made up guys over 50 Howard. I think I was made mayor of Geezerville by default. I’m kind of enjoying it.
bob
4 Dec 2012city squirrels are a bit less trusting than their `burban cousins. Crazy old squirrel guy beats being “the guy who walks naked around his house all the time” guy. I’ll share that story one day.
float and fly works if there is bait on the fly, otherwise it’s just a piece of fluff floating dead in the water. I wouldn’t try to eat it either.
I fished the rivers more this year than in the last six or seven. It din’t satisfy the itch. It made me want to fish more. But, damn the price of gas. Damn the infernal traffic.
groovy dude
The Four Season Angler
4 Dec 2012Try a hair jig instead of an actual fly. You need the jig to sit below the float on a tight line from the jig weight so you can impart action “wagging” the float bottom. It works much better with the little styrofoam round body floats with a small ring weight on one end of the line clip.
Silly to poo-poo a technique that you aren’t doing right…
Ken G
4 Dec 2012If I go again Ed I’m going to try these little twisters I have on a 1/32 ounce jig. I have much more confidence in that little wiggling tale than a bunch of hair pulsating.
But I do the other technique so right it’s hard to switch.
Ken G
4 Dec 2012I hear the city squirrels are packing heat Bob. Mugging people at ATMs, terrorizing the dogs. Tough little things.
I thought of stopping and getting maggots to put on the fly, I agree on the floating fluff description. It has nothing going for it.
Once you retire, you need to get out of that neighborhood. I have a feeling you’ll disappear to a little shack near the Kankakee somewhere. Then you can even walk around naked outside all you want. You’ll fit right in.
walt
5 Dec 2012Dear Mayor of Gray Squirrel Town (or is it Fox squirrels out there?),
I guess I never fully considered just how acute those ears and noses are, though I’m not surprised considering how quickly a wild squirrel picks up a sound from an “intruder.” Interesting to read about your feeding ventures with them. Unfortunately I cannot encourage the beasts because they all too readily make themselves at home beneath my roof.
Ken G
5 Dec 2012They’re all Fox squirrels Walt, even though two grays showed up this year for the first time. Must be visiting from the city. They come sneaking in for peanuts when the others aren’t looking. My neighbor has real problems with them hunkering down in his attic, but he refuses to cut the tree limbs away from his roof. He’s working on his house, the other day the squirrels were tearing off pieces of Tyvek to use as nesting material. Funny to watch. At least they’ll be nice and dry.